Being away

I am in Germany on a trip with high school students for 3 weeks. That means i do not get to see my kids for 3 weeks. it is going ok. it will be fine. i am having fun. my family is doing great. but i realize how happy i am that normally i get to see my kids each and every day. Some families . . . due to divorce or separation . . . . or due to work-required travel . . . . do not have this. they do not get to see their spouse and kids every day. there is a certain amount of sadness. but it is a deeper word than sadness. there is a sense of absence. i talked to kylie and davin on the phone. there was a distance there. they did not fully understand my absence. And i did not fully understand the exact current circumstances and emotions. there is more than a geographical separation. there is an emotional separation. it is nobody's fault. i am sure we will pick up right where we left off when i see them in 2 weeks. one week of the trip is past. but i am today very grateful that i do normally get to see them every day. if this sense of distance or absence is something that i had to have from them 12 months of the year . . . if there were circumstances where i would only get to see them like 2 weekends a month . . . i would be devastated to think of the different dynamics that my relationships would be with them. Thank God that Jen and I have similar work schedules and that Jen and I remain and will remain best of friends.. I can handle these trips to Germany every two years knowing that when I return I will be reunited - both geographically and physically - but also regain that emotional connection once again too. When I get back, Jen deserves whatever she wants. A professional massage, a dinner out with friends, a trip of her own to visit her brother, a month of putting her feet up after the kids go to bed as i clean the kitchen and do the laundry.